Where is Obscure City?? Who is behind it??? What is wrong with us?

One dark and stormy night during Covid, drunk in bed and endlessly scrolling, a meme came across my screen. At that moment, the face grease on the screen parted, the resolution got brighter, somewhere in the distance an angel sang just like the neighbor's dog barking. There it was, like an ancient arrowhead laying in the middle of Times Square... a cheap metal Jesus crudely lashed to a flimsy cross by a wire coat hanger, somewhat as if as if Jesus was bungee jumping!

The laughter come on instantly. With every glance at the screen, it intensified. I was powerless to stop it. After what seemed like an eternity, the tears finally subsided, and I was at peace.

Straight away, I knew I had to have one. Then began the search.
“Surely this can be bought?!?” With every failed inquiry, I could feel dread welling up and overtaking the ecstasy. After every failed search, back I would go to the image, desperately chasing the dragon. I began to get angry at it, picking it apart, convincing myself it was not that cool.
“It’s not even realistic looking,” I said to myself, noting the lack of color and definition, the mis-matched scale. That’s when it happened…

The wind had quit blowing and an eerie silence had passed over my little town. Gazing at the phone screen in my hand with my mind blank and detached from this plane of existence, like a double shot of white lighting, it hit me.
“I bet I can make one.”

I was snapped back to reality by a window rattling BOOM from either the gates of heaven slamming shut above me or from the train cars connecting down on the tracks, I’m not sure which. A few quick searches into the depraved depths of Christian supply houses later and I found a suitable crucifix to cannibalize for my coming abomination. Days later when it arrived, I promptly pried the corpus off the cross and was dismayed at his very flat back. With my Dremel and paints, I set to work, perfecting the imperfect image. A trip to the hardware store later and I had suitable cord and wire to finish the task. After much trying and experimenting, satisfaction was mine.

As I laughed at my creation, I snapped a photo to send to my wife who was out of town visiting her hedonistic brother.
“Is that an action photo?” she replied. “How did you time the photo so well?”
(I knew I was on to something!)
During the phone call that followed, explaining my process through their laughter, was the first time I heard it…

“I want one,” her brother said.

Silence.

Looking down at my hand holding what would prove to be the first BunJesus of the many that would come, into my head came a single thought.

“If you build them, they will sell.”

Fast forward to now – As of November of 2023, over 1800 BunJesus’ are jumping in all 50 states and over 30 countries around the world! The line has expanded to include multiple color options, the sinister edition, as well as the JesuSlingShot. They will soon be bolstered by some other great products that are sure to piss off more people!

Since you made it this far, here a few unsatisfactory answers:

WHERE IS OBSCURE CITY? Just like the great state of Wyoming, Obscure City doesn't really exist either.

WHO IS BEHIND IT? We don't exist either. If we did, we wouldn't want our identities were made public and subjected to the very loving, forgiving and accepting members of Christianity. Call it paranoid, but their history doesn't exactly track.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? There is so much wrong with us that it is easier to just say what isn't wrong with us... We have a great sense of humor, a high tolerance for drugs and alcohol plus a little bit of extra pocket change from the sale of hedonistic art, all of which makes us a blast at parties!