Description
Are you religious with a sense of humor? Is your personal Jesus a fun loving Jesus? Are you tired of other religions having fun idols while yours is sad and a bit macabre?
Or…..
Are you an atheist looking for a good way to come out to your friends and family but don’t know where to start? Did the image alone make you laugh hysterically? Are you looking for a reason to buy this as hard as we are looking for a reason to sell it to you?!?
Well look no more! Just take the leap of faith, hang this on your wall, and let the miracles happen!
Just like Christian apologetics, you can pick, choose, and customize your BunJesus experience to fit in your home and conform to your opinions. We have 20 different kinds of cords to choose from.
Not Good Enough? Seeking More Damnation?
We will baptize your Christ and Cross with black semi-gloss spray paint to match your coffee, socks, and soul.
In the shipped package we also enclose a gold “INRI” plaque! Notice that the plaque is not adhered to the cross, therefore it is not a true “crucifix.” (See how we are narrowly skirting “damnation” there? Wheewww… That was close!)
Each BunJesus is painstakingly handmade over the course of a lifetime to achieve the maximum lifelike effect.
These jumping Jehovah’s are made from such high quality and rare components that they are hard to describe… but we’ll try anyway.
Christ: The “Corpus” (which is the technical and creepy term for the effigy of the crucified Jesus) measures 5 1/2″ tall x 4 3/4″ wide. We scoured the earth to find the most lifelike effigy available. Having been found wanting at that, we had our own made! Our Jesus is beautifully hand painted by Chinese labor as denoted by the “Made in China” sticker we leave adhered to his back like a 1990’s baller back tattoo, thereby giving credit where credit is do. (Christ made in China…? The irony burns!)
Cross: Made by actual humans! We use a very rare wood called “pine.” It measures 9 1/2″ tall x 5 1/2″ wide x 3/4″ thick and has a recessed key-hole in the back. It has been skillfully spray dyed and baptized in lacquer so it is probably water proof… Probably.
Cord: Sorry but these are trade secrets bestowed upon us by the holiest of holy men, Father Bail Ingwire and Cardinal Parca Ord. They magically come together to make Jesus appear to float in the air. The “bungee cord” can be bent and adjusted for him to hang however you’d like.
Act now, before the rapture and/or before more of our suppliers catch on and cut us off!
Please review our Returns & Refunds Policy as well as our website’s Terms & Conditions to familiarize yourself with how we operate. We promise that it’s very important, compelling, and riveting reading.
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